He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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