Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
