i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sext me about skeletons
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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