THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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