Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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