I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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