Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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