I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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