PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
