do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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