we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
