please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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