I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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