Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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