There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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