And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I forget how to act sober
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