11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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