who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
