Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
