Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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