Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize