If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
