The maid of honor just puked.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
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I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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