You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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