so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
