Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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