Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
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