He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
