Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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