someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
