I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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