Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
