Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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