Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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