I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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