I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
