I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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