So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
