you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How does it feel to date your dad?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize