Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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