I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
