my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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