so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
