i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
