He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
