She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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