Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
