If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
