Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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