I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
