Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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