Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize