my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
