he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
40s are totally the cure
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
