I can text with my tongue
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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