The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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