Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
