White coat. Heels.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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