dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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