Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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