So drunk its hurt
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
