she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
