she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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