Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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